handjob tips. give me some.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
