I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
