I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
where does the pee come out of this thing
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
