I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
