my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
