It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
