planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
