textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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