Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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