It's Friday. Sex?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
