Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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