4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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