I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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