You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
