i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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