I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
