Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
