Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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