Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
