the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Still dying that you shit outside
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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