Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
