Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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