Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
