Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
