So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
