Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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