I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
