If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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