I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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