Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
