it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
