Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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