Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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