nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
