Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize