He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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