i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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