i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
