I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
