I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
