no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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