1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
