you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
COCAINE IS GR8
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
