I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize