Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
COCAINE IS GR8
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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