Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
