Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
