Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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