Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
