Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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