can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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