scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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