yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
