i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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