the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have post one night stand depression
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