Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
