on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize