My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
