Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
