can u get pink eye on your cock?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
soo... how was my night?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
